Nikki no Kagome: Kagome's Diary
by Diary-chan
Summary: A series of drabbles in diary form dealing with random feelings and subjects of Kagome, as submitted by reviewers and brainstormed by the author. InuKag, MirSang. Discontinued.
1. Soulmates

**A/N: So yeah, I'm making a series of drabbles in diary form for Kagome. :3  
**

_Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any associated franchise._

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**Soulmate**

Dear Diary,

I always read in books, or see in movies, or hear other people talk about being 'soulmates'.

Their 'one and only'.

But it always used to confuse me. I thought, _But there's billions of people in the world!! How are you going to find just _one_? How do you know if there isn't someone better?_

When I met InuYasha... well. Not really when I _met _him, but later hwen I finally realized it... when I realized I loved him, I think I finally understood. I don't know when. It's just one of those things where you suddenly know, and you realize you've known for a while, but you don't know how or why or when - just when you didn't, and then, you _know_. If that makes any sense.

But, sometimes... mostly when he goes off to see Kikyou...

It comes back to me - the soulmate thing. I start thinking too much. And I always think, _There's so many people in the world... there must be more than one you could stand to spend the rest of your life with. I mean, maybe one of them is the _best_, but maybe you'd never need to know if there was someone better out there._

And I wonder how it applies to InuYasha and me.

I mean, if there's so many people in the world, there's gotta be at least five or six people I could love like I love InuYasha.

Not that I want to. I would never, _ever_ want to love anyone else like I do him.

But, sometimes... mostly when he goes off to see Kikyou...

I wonder if maybe it would have been easier to love someone else.

-Kagome


	2. Silence Speaking

**A/N: Doo doo doo doo... Dum dee dee dum... (hums uselessly)  
**

_Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any associated franchise._

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**Silence Speaking  
**

Dear Diary,

It's a good opportunity to write, now that he's off with her. Not that I really like it when he is... but it's the reason this book exists.

I hate these times. Everyone is afraid to say anything, because they think I'm sensitive, not in the mood for laughs or antics, at my wit's end. And I am, I really am. I wish I didn't have to take out my anger on them, and I don't blame them for keeping quiet, but the silence is driving me insane.

It's not even the quiet that bothers me. Honestly, sometimes I beg for quiet. It's the implication. Like everyone thinks they understand, like they know what I'm going through. As if they know what's best for me, when they really don't. I'll admit I do nothing but push them away, but it's only because none of them understand. They don't try to understand either. They just helplessly give me bits of useless advice that I've heard a million times before, and they pretend that they know things that they don't. I suppose it's human nature; no one wants to be vulnerable, everyone wants to be knowledgeable. But I wish they would stop pretending. If they would stop pretending to know what's going on, I wouldn't push them away and they wouldn't be so quiet and everything wouldn't be so awkward.

But what's worse is when they try to help. Little smiles, not-funny jokes, lighthearted mannerisms, petty conversations that I wouldn't normally mind; so very condescending. They think distracting me is the way to deal with the way I feel, but putting it off only makes things worse. They don't want me to confide in them, because they wouldn't know what to say, what to do with the words I give.

When they speak, I hear nothing. It's still silence because they don't say anything worth hearing. But even the silence speaks, and it says that I'm all alone.

I don't have to be alone.

But I guess it's just human nature. No one wants to be confronted with the unknown, and so we suffer by ourselves and let our experiences scar us. Sometimes we get lucky, and there's someone or we are someone to confide in who actually knows what's going on. But every one of us is so naive, there's no one who really knows. And no one wants to understand; because understanding pain means experiencing it. Without understanding, nothing we say is worth saying, and it all just amounts to more silence.

The silence is the only thing that really speaks.

But I never like what it's saying.

-Kagome


	3. Happiness

**A/N: I felt like writing finally? Agh, I have nothing to say here. **

_Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any of its franchise._

_**Happiness**_

Dear Diary,

Today I realized that the first two entries were really nothing but angst. I'm not like that all the time, I promise! It's just that sometimes sadness gets the best of me.

So I figured that I shouldn't take happiness for granted.

I learned that at an early age, back when Dad died; they say you don't know what you've got till it's gone, and it's true. I didn't treasure my "normal" life before I came to the Feudal Era because I thought that things would always be like that – laughing with my friends, excelling in my classes, sitting on a fast-track to success. I didn't take nice boys like Houjo for granted until I met InuYasha, who has his own merits, but is… well… InuYasha. I didn't really appreciate modern-day conveniences until I was stranded without them in the Feudal Era – never did I think of shampoo as such a luxury.

It's nice to be happy. Generally, I'm happy. It's really hard to be happy sometimes, but I do it. I figure that there's enough misery and sadness in the world without me adding to it. No one needs me complaining. I guess I've always been like this. Everyone thinks I'm a saint because I try not to be negative or mean, but really I just think life is easier without those things. Funny, because in the end I guess it's sort of lazy!

But like I said, sometimes it's hard to be happy. Like when Sango cries over Kohaku. Or I catch Miroku staring at his Wind Tunnel, looking so incredibly lost. When Shippo mumbles about his dead parents in his sleep. InuYasha, sitting alone, rebuffed by another of Kikyo's tricks.

It's hard. Sometimes it doesn't seem worth it.

But happiness is _always_ worth it.

-Kagome


End file.
